10 THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHILE PLANNING MY WEDDING

May 31, 2017


For all of my friends out there who have gotten married already, I'm sure you are with me when I say I wish there was a list of things to expect that I'm not expecting. Well, here it is. For those of you who are reading this that are getting married soon or have yet to get to that part of life, trust me, you're going to thank me later.

ONE // Not all insurances cover pre-marital counseling

Christopher and I found this one out the hard way when an $800 bill came our way. For some reason, the counseling service we used said that my insurance covered premarital counseling, but it turned out that they only cover marriage counseling, not "pre" marital. OH the specifics. PTL that Christopher's insurance covered it and we only owed a small amount to cover the copay, but it was pretty scary to get that bill in the mail just a week after our wedding. So, moral of that, double, no, triple check with your insurance company before heading to any counseling and make sure you won't be charged an arm and a leg.

TWO // At rehearsal, run through ALL of the ceremony & reception

I wish we would have done this in full detail. For the ceremony we pretty much went through everything and I knew what was happening for the most part because I wrote the ceremony script except for the message that our Pastor had prepared and our vows we wrote for each other. The reception was another story. I left this in someone else's hands *cough Christopher cough* and it was a little less than organized. It's not his fault--we just didn't think that we would have had to go through everything for it and that it would have been common sense. Eat. Speeches. Dance. Party. Alas, it was not. There was a lot of waiting around until I told people what to do. I really took on the wedding planner title--even during my own wedding.
THREE // Type and print out all announcements and special songs for the reception

GAH. This one makes me have a mini heart attack just thinking about it. SO many disasters could have been averted if we would have just remembered to print out the dang paper. It was on Christopher's laptop at the DJ table, but no one thought to acknowledge it. 

I was super OCD and made different playlists for different times of the night, cocktail hour, dinner, special dances, dancing, etc. I had it all down. But, that wasn't followed. It was kind of music craziness at one point until I went up and changed the songs. Oh well. Not the worst thing that could have happened. 

As for announcements, no one was designated to announce tables for food or when speeches would begin, or anything--our DJ was my brother-in-law and we never went over these things with him--totally our bad. Learn from our mistakes! 

My last vent--and hopefully it will save a special moment for you as well--during our first dance, we wanted our parents to come on the dance floor during the second chorus with us a symbol of the love they have for not only us as their children (and we for them), but for the love they have for each other. Chris and I are both lucky enough to have parents that have been married for a very long time 27 for his and 42 years for mine, so we wanted them to be with us in our special moment. Since we had no one announcing that, peeps thought it was an invitation to come out on the dance floor with us. Oh well, it gave us a few laughs.

FOUR // Practice your first dance

This kind of piggy backs on my last point. Practice it. Have an announcement made if you will be doing something non-traditional like we did. But, most of all, practice with your groom. Chris and I basically rocked back and forth (neither of us can dance at all!). Praise GOD that the video footage came out perfectly! But with all that said, take a dance class. Watch a YouTube tutorial, something!



FIVE // Have people designated to refill drinks & food

As you know by now, Chris and I had a very simple diy wedding. We didn't have caterers that stayed on site to take care of the food and drinks if it got low. My biggest piece of advice is designate people you trust to help refill the drink buckets and the food when it gets low.
SIX // Set aside tips for deliveries

We knew that it is proper etiquette to tip delivery drivers as we had tipped the guys that delivered the tables and chairs, however, it completely slipped our minds to leave money with someone for the food delivery drivers. We had our local Qdoba cater our wedding (jealous aren't ya?! ;) It was amazing haha!) so it was easy to go back and get the tip in the right hands, but it would help a lot if you set this aside beforehand!



SEVEN // Do your RSVP's Online

RSVP cards are the biggest waste of money. Sheesh. I cannot stress that enough. I so wish that we would have just done them online. We ended up calling and texting the majority of our guest list to see if they were coming anyways, because the RSVP cards kept getting lost. (You can read about that adventure in this post.) Anyways, save yourself the hassle, the stamp money, and the printing fees and just set it up online. WeddingWire is an amazing site not only for planning, but for RSVP's as well! The next wedding I'm involved in, I'm definitely suggesting this!

EIGHT // Get a day of Coordinator

I'm one of those types of people that are far too controlling to let plan my wedding (obviously). One thing that would have helped immensely would have been a day of coordinator. Their fees aren't that expensive and they will save a lot of headache. I think if I would have had someone to pass the planning and details baton to, I would have relaxed a little earlier into my wedding and some of the finer details wouldn't have slipped through the cracks. So, if you're in need of a day of coordinator, I got you ;) 



NINE // Get all of your family pictures taken before couple pictures

Ah. Yes. The pictures. The part of the wedding that I barely remember, because I was going crazy about everything else. The one thing that I wish would have gotten taken were pics with my Mom & Dad with just me. I'm a Mommy & a Daddy's girl. I love my parents so much, but time just flies by so fast and things get forgotten, and this was one of them. 

When my parents come up to visit in the next couple of weeks, my Mom & Dad are going to bring their dress and suit and I'm going to put on my wedding dress again and we are going to have our own little photoshoot. Plus, this just gives me an excuse to wear my dress again!


TEN // Review everything in detail with your groom

Men are men, no matter what. No matter how into planning the wedding he is with you, there will always be a set-back. He's a dude and he hasn't been dreaming of this day since he was five like you have. And hey, that's okay. It's not his fault. It just becomes your duty to train him on all of the research and planning you have done for the past twenty years.

Even though Chris was heavily involved in the planning, I took on planning our wedding basically as my full-time job. I was only working a few days a week, so I had plenty of time to devote to our special day. My best piece of advice is just go over every detail and write him a list if there are any items that you need him to do or complete.


All in all, our wedding day was a dream not only to us, but for our guests that attended. We had sixty guests attend our wedding, super small, and intimate, so no one had a clue that anything was wrong. They just went right along with it! I think the fact that they knew we planned everything in under seven weeks gave us some automatic grace. Just take my mistakes and lessons learned as your starting ground while planning your own wedding. You'll be glad you bookmarked this for later. ;)

Any wives out there going YASS! I wish I had done that!? Haha! We've all been there. It's all good. It's like it's a part of the wedding planning process.

What would be wedding planning advice that you have for others reading this post? Leave it in the comments! 

In case you missed my previous wedding posts, I'll link them for you below!

Why I'm Choosing To Have A Small Wedding

Wedding // Part One: Flowers & Centerpieces

Wedding // Part Two: Our Naked Wedding Cake

Wedding // Part Three: Wedding Recap (This one has our wedding pics & video!)

Stay Classy. 

xx,
Kristen

31 comments

  1. I can seriously relate to these so much as we also had a DIY wedding - especially #5 (FIVE // Have people designated to refill drinks & food). Oh my goodness did that create some problems where people wanted coffee but there was not hot water and the caterer (we did BBQ with a local BBQ spot near us) was apparently ranting that it wasn't his job to do that, etc. It's crazy because we planned everything out where some of my relatives who were involved in some of the planning would get there and fill the water before the guests arrived so it was hot and then they ended up showing up late with hor' derves, too. But praise God, everyone seemed to enjoy it and still talk about how much fun they had, which is good! I would've never known from your pictures that these things went wrong! Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like the peeps that we both had designated got a little side tracked! haha! The only thing that matters is that your wedding was all that YOU wanted it to be! <3

      Delete
  2. YES! I had my cousin DJ our wedding and he played FOREST SOUNDS during dinner because I didn't give specific instructions! Totally feel you on that. Also, our venue had a day-of coordinator and when we had to change our ceremony space last minute due to weather, she was a life saver. These tips are so great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my goodness. Forest sounds?! LOL! We had Firework by Katy Perry play at least 4 times....in 2 hours. I'm glad we're in that one together. Oh that is SO great that you had a day-of coordinator. I couldn't imagine changing it on my own!

      Delete
  3. We did our RSVPs online and it made things so much easier. Also yes to the day of coordinator. That was certainly a lifesaver.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SO jealous you were super smart and did them online! I don't know what I was thinking! :)

      Delete
  4. Love this post so much! I'm actually doing a series "Wedding Wednesday" on my blog where I'm interviewing different brides on their big day & I would love to interview you & promote your blog (especially since you have a wedding series-so cool!) If you're interested, would you pretty please email me @ [email protected]? I would love to have you over at Southern & Style :)

    xoxo, SS


    www.SouthernAndStyle.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw that is so sweet! Emailing you tonight! : )

      Delete
  5. Your pictures are SO stunning!! Having a day-of coordinator sounds so essential, I love your tips!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you so much! And yes! A day-of coordinator is SO essential...so wish I had one! Oh well! : )

      Delete
  6. YUP. I'm one of the wives going "YASSSSS!" This is spot on! Also, I would say test your reception music beforehand! We had a song chosen for our entry at the reception and it just would not play... it was a little embarrassing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AH that is a REALLY great tip! Bummer that happened to you guys. The little mistakes are what make your wedding day perfectly complete! haha! <3

      Delete
  7. Oh my gosh, I hadn't even considered so many of these! I think the biggest one that SO many people forget is having a trusted person work as their personal attendant/coordinator. I was at a wedding last year that my husband was a groomsman in, but I ended up hanging out with the bridal party and doing all her little errands! When the ceremony was about to begin, the bride's family was all sitting in the very last pews of a MASSIVE church and I had to tell the ushers to force them up front or their photos were going to look super awkward! After the wedding, the bride and her mother thanked me profusely for just taking over - haha - and admitted they should have asked someone to be me before the day! I was happy to do it though and loved helping!
    I also love the idea of doing couple photos on a separate day - so smart and probably more enjoyable, honestly! Also, AMEN to online RSVPs - so glad we did that too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw! That's so great that they have a friend like you to step in and take over! I'm sure it meant SO much, especially when they were going back through their pics. <3

      Delete
  8. Thank you for the unique tips when planning a wedding! Hopefully, I will be planning in the next year or so!

    XOXO
    Danielle

    http://chicandcluttered.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that would be so awesome--fingers crossed you will be! <3

      Delete
  9. I have one regret from our wedding and it's that we didn't get a videographer. Seriously, if I think too long about it I feel sick because NO ONE thought to record anything from that day. Yes, we have pictures, but there is something about video that makes it even more magical.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, I'm so sorry Shani! Cherish those pictures girly <3

      Delete
  10. Yes!! So much great advice here!! Having a day of organizer, printing out lists and expectations for everyone, assigning people to jobs like refilling food! I was lucky to have friends who had helped with many weddings before so all of this was done before hand and made the wedding soooo smooth!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you're so lucky! That's awesome. Now at least whenever one of my friends gets married, I will be a pro at organizing it lol!

      Delete
  11. These are all great things to know for the future, thanks for putting this together! PS your wedding photos are lovely :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you so much, Jessica! Definitely something great to come back to later on when you are planning in the future! <3

      Delete
  12. These are all really awesome tips, because I have never even THOUGHT about some of these! We probably won't get married for at least another year, but these are great things to keep in mind!

    Jasmine / www.jasminekeclipse.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah for sure! And that's exciting that there's a wedding in your near future :) Let me know if you ever have any questions about planning! :)

      Delete
  13. I was the mother of the bride and I hired a coordinator for my daughter's wedding day. Best money I ever spent! I had watched to many other friends go crazy at their children's weddings. I wanted to enjoy the day as much as possible and not worry about if the kitchen got cleaned after the light lunch, paying the tips to different people, taking care of gifts and especially the wedding cards, making sure the flowers from the wedding got to the right place at the reception. The list goes on and on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! There are SO many tiny details and tasks that no one ever thinks about. So glad that you had a coordinator. I'm sure your daughter's wedding was beautiful! <3

      Delete
  14. Vashti CollinsMarch 15, 2018

    I love this and as a wedding photographer, THANK YOU! For advising brides to do family photos before and if you aren't doing a first look or don't want to see each other before you can always get your individual family photos out of the way. I am so glad I found your blog on Pinterest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw! Thank you! Your job is SO hectic on a client's wedding day--that's just one more thing that brides can do to help you out! :)

      Delete
  15. Hello! Would you be willing to share all of your playlists for the wedding if you still have them??? Thanks!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Grace! I actually don't have the playlists anymore. We just set up everything on iTunes and put our personal favorite songs in them. I had a playlist for our ceremony (walking in song & walking out), a playlist for the cocktail hour/dinner & then a dance playlist!

      Delete
  16. Thank you for an awesome expose over the complexity of a wedding. I really appreciate the time you put in to explain how you work.

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete